08 Sep Apologies May Not Help Hurt Feelings
MedicalResearch.com Interview with:
Dr. Freedman
Gili Freedman, PhD
Postdoctoral Researcher
Dartmouth College
MedicalResearch.com: What is the background for this study? What are the main findings?
Response: Social rejection is a common, everyday interpersonal interaction, and most people have been on both ends: being rejected and doing the rejection. There has been a lot of research on how rejection impacts targets (the people being rejected), but we know less about the point of view of the rejector. In this set of studies, we wanted to understand how frequently rejectors include apologies in rejections and what effect apologies have on targets of rejection.
Using both college and community samples, we found that approximately 40% of people spontaneously included an apology when trying to reject in a good way. However, rejections with apologies were associated with more hurt feelings and higher levels of aggression than rejections without apologies. In response to viewing rejections with apologies, participants felt obligated to express forgiveness but did not actually feel forgiveness. Taken together, our results indicate that apologies may not be helpful in softening the blow of a social rejection.
MedicalResearch.com: What should clinicians and patients take away from your report?
Response: Although apologies can often help smooth over interpersonal transgressions, they may not be as helpful in reducing the hurt feelings that can result from social rejections. In other words, it might be beneficial to avoid using apologies when you socially reject someone if you are concerned about that person’s feelings.
MedicalResearch.com: What recommendations do you have for future research as a result of this study?
Response: This research was a key first step in trying to understand how to reject in a less hurtful way. Future research should consider the other aspects of language that may impact how rejections are perceived. For example, would offering an alternative to the denied social request be an effective method of softening the blow? Or would an alternative be perceived as insincere?
MedicalResearch.com: Thank you for your contribution to the MedicalResearch.com community.
Citation:
Front Psychol. 2017 Aug 11;8:1375. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01375. eCollection 2017.
When Saying Sorry May Not Help: The Impact of Apologies on Social Rejections.
Freedman G1,2, Burgoon EM2, Ferrell JD2, Pennebaker JW2, Beer JS2.
Note: Content is Not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care provider regarding your specific medical condition and questions.
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Last Updated on September 8, 2017 by Marie Benz MD FAAD