Your Dating Life: Should You Disclose You’re Going to Therapy?

dating-tirachard-kumtanom-450050Dating is a process in which you get to know another person. If you connect both emotionally and romantically, the relationship could become permanent. However, honesty is needed for this relationship to last. For some people, this might become an issue.

If you have taken part in a residential mental health treatment program, should you share that with the other person? If so, when should this be done? The main thing to consider is when this level of intimacy is valued. Don’t overshare on a first date, but don’t wait until you have been in the relationship for a few years before sharing. When might this be?

Slow is Best

Sharing too much information on a first date is never wise. The relationship should build slowly over time. In the beginning, it’s best to keep things casual and light. Doing so allows you to establish a friendship first. The best relationships are built around being friends. Over time, as this friendship strengthens, you can begin sharing more information. However, you need this foundation before things go further, as this allows for a connection that will withstand trials and tribulations. Furthermore, the person will hear this disclosure better after the relationship has developed somewhat.

Put It In Context

When sharing this information with the other person, you want to do so in a way that shows the time spent made you stronger. Many people view therapy in a negative light. When you frame it as a means for improving yourself, the other person sees it as a desire on your part to grow and be better. They see that you value yourself and take steps to improve continuously. You are telling them you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, as you have overcome past challenges.

Words Matter

One thing to consider before sharing this information is the words you will use when doing so. If you present the situation in a negative way, that’s how they are going to take it. Negative self-talk is not appealing to other people. It may even lead them to wonder what is wrong with them that they are attracted to a person with problems. As you tell them about this treatment, you want to explain why you feel the therapy is necessary. Don’t blame others for these problems, as they may worry that you will blame them if the relationship doesn’t work out. When you take responsibility for things that have happened in your life and show you are trying to do better, they look at the time you spent in treatment favorably.

Explain the therapy is helping you overcome challenges in your life. As you do so, the other person will see that you want to be treated as an equal and valued person. No individual comes into a relationship without some baggage, so never feel as if you need to hide past troubles. The right person will understand and support you as you move forward with a better life.

Never let someone pressure you into sharing information you aren’t ready to share. If you aren’t comfortable, it may not be the right time or they may not be the right person. Keep this in mind and always trust yourself. When you do so, they will respect you more and treat you as you wish to be treated.


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Last Updated on March 21, 2024 by Marie Benz MD FAAD